Feelings activities and games for preschoolers

The best feelings activities for preschoolers are short games that give a feeling a name: making faces in a mirror, guessing a feeling from a face, stopping on a page in a story, or drawing a book about one feeling. Each takes a few minutes, needs almost nothing and works best when your child is calm. Most of these come from the Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL) at Vanderbilt University. The last one uses the pendant colors from Niko and Lira’s world.

These are about your child’s own feelings. For games about noticing how someone else feels, see empathy activities for kids.

Make a face

Say, “I’m going to make a face. Guess what I’m feeling.” Make a happy face or a sad one. When your child guesses, tell them something simple that makes you feel that way: “Going to the park makes me happy.” Then it’s their turn to make a face while you guess.

CSEFEL suggests keeping your examples to everyday things, not grown-up worries. Don’t be surprised if your child copies whatever face you just made. That’s part of learning it.

Mirror, mirror

With a hand mirror or a bathroom mirror, say, “Mirror, mirror, what do I see?” and make a feeling face. Then name it: “I see a sad Mommy looking at me.” Now it’s their turn: “I see a happy Sam looking at me.” Say the words with them until they know them. Play until they lose interest.

Stop on a page

While you read, stop on a page where a character is showing a feeling. CSEFEL suggests asking, “What do you think he is feeling? Why is he feeling that way?” or “Have you ever felt that way?” Don’t stay too long on one page, and only keep going while your child is interested. Picture books about empathy has some good ones to try it with.

Make a feelings book

All you need is paper, crayons and a stapler. Make a book about one feeling, a Happy Book say, and fill it with drawings, magazine pictures or family photos of things that make your child happy. Or give each page a different feeling. CSEFEL notes this one goes better done together than alone.

Name it in the moment

The easiest activity needs no setup at all. CSEFEL’s example: “Riding your bike is so much fun. I see you smiling. Are you happy?” Naming a feeling while it’s happening gives your child the word for it. Zero to Three suggests doing the same with hard feelings: label it and accept it, “It’s okay to feel mad,” instead of rushing to fix it.

Learn a new feeling word

It’s easy to stop at happy, sad and mad. CSEFEL lists many more worth teaching, including proud, frustrated, disappointed, worried, excited, jealous, lonely and calm. Pick one a week and use it when it fits: “You built that tower all by yourself. You look proud.”

What can I do when I feel…?

Talk, at a calm time, about what to do with a big feeling. CSEFEL’s list includes taking a deep breath, asking for help, asking for a hug, walking away and saying the feeling instead of acting it out (“I am mad” instead of throwing a toy). It suggests practicing these when everyone is calm, never in the middle of a meltdown, and praising your child the first time they tell you how they feel instead of just reacting.

Color the feelings

In Lumingrove, a pendant glows with how its wearer feels: gold for happy, blue for sad, red for angry, pink for love. Ask, “If you had a pendant right now, what color would it be?” A child who can’t find the word can still pick a color.

• To print: Color the feelings, with Niko and Lira showing four feelings and a pendant each to color, and the feelings colors chart with all nine.
• To play: Pendant Feelings, a gentle game for ages 3 to 8 where children match a face to its pendant color. It needs no reading and collects nothing.

Book One, A Light for Tavi, has the pendants glowing on its pages, so it’s a good story to try “Stop on a page” with.